Drama
A ring on the doorbell. Special delivery. Sign for a letter from the UK goverment body regulating donor conception. I had written to ask them 1) if my daughters have any half siblings in the UK and 2) the type of identifying information they hold on the father, who is an open donor.
Rushed into living room with letter, sat down, tried distractedly to latch on the babies for their ten am feed while opening letter. Opened letter. Read that 1) no half siblings in the UK (but not suprised, US donor, and have already traced several half siblings elsewhere) but also that 2) my donor has not 'reregistered since the change in anonymity laws' and therefore the government body is not holding any identifying information.
What? Re-register, what???? I imported this man's sperm in 2006, a year after the UK laws regarding anonymity were lifted (only willing to be known donors are now allowed). My fertility clinic took ages to import the sperm because the UK regulatory authority demanded a more up to date address for the donor. I spent ages, ages, and I mean ages, making the decision to try and conceive with donor gametes. And the only reason I allowed myself to go ahead - given that I think donor conception is ethically questionable - was by choosing an open donor. In fact, I believe anonymous donation should be banned, because it violaes the rights of the child.
And yet, despite all this, here I was being told my daughters were conceived by anonymous sperm donation.
Sent a bewildered e-mail. Followed it up a few hours later with a bewildered phone call. Only to be told by a nice young lady that awfully sorry, they sent out the wrong form letter, and in fact the donor is identifiable and the UK goverment is holding his name and address which can be released to the girls when they are eighteen years old (if they request it). Today they sent me a letter confirming this - again by special delivery - with a covering note saying 'sorry for the inconvenience caused.'
Inconvenience? More like panic.
Rushed into living room with letter, sat down, tried distractedly to latch on the babies for their ten am feed while opening letter. Opened letter. Read that 1) no half siblings in the UK (but not suprised, US donor, and have already traced several half siblings elsewhere) but also that 2) my donor has not 'reregistered since the change in anonymity laws' and therefore the government body is not holding any identifying information.
What? Re-register, what???? I imported this man's sperm in 2006, a year after the UK laws regarding anonymity were lifted (only willing to be known donors are now allowed). My fertility clinic took ages to import the sperm because the UK regulatory authority demanded a more up to date address for the donor. I spent ages, ages, and I mean ages, making the decision to try and conceive with donor gametes. And the only reason I allowed myself to go ahead - given that I think donor conception is ethically questionable - was by choosing an open donor. In fact, I believe anonymous donation should be banned, because it violaes the rights of the child.
And yet, despite all this, here I was being told my daughters were conceived by anonymous sperm donation.
Sent a bewildered e-mail. Followed it up a few hours later with a bewildered phone call. Only to be told by a nice young lady that awfully sorry, they sent out the wrong form letter, and in fact the donor is identifiable and the UK goverment is holding his name and address which can be released to the girls when they are eighteen years old (if they request it). Today they sent me a letter confirming this - again by special delivery - with a covering note saying 'sorry for the inconvenience caused.'
Inconvenience? More like panic.
posted by katty at 2:55 PM
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